(no subject)

It's mere weeks of sobriety before Crowley finds himself falling back into it. Being sober of body and sober of mind are two different things and while the Winchesters may have cleaned him out, he's still got an itch under his skin calling for blood.

It's another four days before he gives in, ripping off a blood bank himself and checking into a hotel room where he presses the needle to his own vein. He should have done all of this alone to begin with. He should know by now that he can't trust anyone.

He lies in bed, watching Romeo + Juliette and flipping back and forth between tearing up and yelling at Baz Luhrmann when his mind starts to wander to Cas. This stupid story always reminds him of them, even if he doesn't think Cas is aware of just what had been running through Crowley's head during their partnership.

"You always were a clueless bastard." He's speaking to Cas and though he means to be speaking out loud in the abstract, it somehow translates into a prayer. Maybe it's all the human blood. His words are certainly a little slurred.

"Hopeless and faithless and--and you don't understand anything, you know that?"