[ Searching in the silence following Crowley's words, John comes to the same conclusion, but it takes longer than it should and he knows it. He doesn't need to explain his vulnerabilities to Crowley — they're more than obvious to him already — but he doesn't particularly enjoy when they're on display.
Finally, he nods in acknowledgment, slow and purposeful to show he understands. Grip loosening around Crowley's wrist, he severs that connection to push a hand through his hair. With his heart rate up, he's sweating and overheated, prompting him to sit up and turn to sit on the edge of his side of the bed.
Perdita shifts on her bed, collar rattling in a way that sharply grabs Blake's attention, but only for its focal benefit. ]
Sorry. [ That's to both of them, even if he knows it's not necessary. ]
[ With a low sigh, Crowley slips free of the blankets, crawling over the now-tangled bedding to settle behind Blake. Maybe this is just as much for his own benefit as Blake's, but he slips an arm around Blake's waist from behind, loose but present.
Maybe he's moved from one addiction to another and Blake is his chosen drug now. With the blood out of his system, he's felt that range of emotions he'd had slowly shrink away again and he can't deny that that's affected him, but having Blake here is a reminder of those feelings and it's strong enough to allow him to feel just a little bit more than he had before Blake had come along--just a little closer to human.
He ducks his head to kiss Blake's shoulder through his t-shirt. ]
[ It's straightforward and prompt, but Blake follows it with contact to show he's not just being his usual, stubborn self that generally refuses aid. He really wants Crowley there, right there, solid and proven. Fingers sliding over Crowley's arm, he holds the other man there as his head and shoulders dip forward. ]
Just stay here.
[ Even for Blake, it's taken some getting used to in order to fit in with the new climate of their relationship. In some ways, Crowley feeling less is easier all around. On the other hand, John isn't even sure if that's what Crowley wants now, or if he'll find his interest waning along with those heightened emotions. Whatever the case, for this moment, John's not letting him release from the embrace. ]
[ With Blake's encouragement, Crowley's arm tightens around him and he presses more soft kisses to the back of Blake's neck. Comforting doesn't come easily to Crowley, but he's found that he can adapt bit by bit, using things that he knows feel nice in an attempt to express something. ]
I'm not going anywhere.
[ Not now that he has Blake back in his bed.
It's funny if he thinks about how this whole thing started. He'd been looking for sex and friendship and he'd found something that he hadn't realized he'd needed. Maybe the need came after it had already been on offer. It's easy to not miss what you've never had and in all his human and demon years, he can't say he's ever had anything exactly like this, but now that he's experienced it, he can't imagine not wanting it. ]
[ Being comforted doesn't come easily to Blake, but he finds it gets easier with time and contact. Forming relationships with people hasn't ever been a strong point for him, either, so more often than not, it's hit or miss. This has been hit and miss, though, and for what it's worth, he can't deny the need to be close to Crowley.
He lets out a long breath and he lifts his free hand back to touch the other man, his fingers playing along Crowley's hairline, just behind his ear. John leans his head a bit, tries to talk back over his shoulder. ]
Thanks.
[ Maybe he's crazy for coming back. Maybe he's setting himself up for disaster, just like Dean had suggested, but... at this point, he can't imagine himself staying away. It's the perfect combination, isn't it? Neediness doubled. ]
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Finally, he nods in acknowledgment, slow and purposeful to show he understands. Grip loosening around Crowley's wrist, he severs that connection to push a hand through his hair. With his heart rate up, he's sweating and overheated, prompting him to sit up and turn to sit on the edge of his side of the bed.
Perdita shifts on her bed, collar rattling in a way that sharply grabs Blake's attention, but only for its focal benefit. ]
Sorry. [ That's to both of them, even if he knows it's not necessary. ]
no subject
Maybe he's moved from one addiction to another and Blake is his chosen drug now. With the blood out of his system, he's felt that range of emotions he'd had slowly shrink away again and he can't deny that that's affected him, but having Blake here is a reminder of those feelings and it's strong enough to allow him to feel just a little bit more than he had before Blake had come along--just a little closer to human.
He ducks his head to kiss Blake's shoulder through his t-shirt. ]
Do you want some water?
no subject
[ It's straightforward and prompt, but Blake follows it with contact to show he's not just being his usual, stubborn self that generally refuses aid. He really wants Crowley there, right there, solid and proven. Fingers sliding over Crowley's arm, he holds the other man there as his head and shoulders dip forward. ]
Just stay here.
[ Even for Blake, it's taken some getting used to in order to fit in with the new climate of their relationship. In some ways, Crowley feeling less is easier all around. On the other hand, John isn't even sure if that's what Crowley wants now, or if he'll find his interest waning along with those heightened emotions. Whatever the case, for this moment, John's not letting him release from the embrace. ]
no subject
I'm not going anywhere.
[ Not now that he has Blake back in his bed.
It's funny if he thinks about how this whole thing started. He'd been looking for sex and friendship and he'd found something that he hadn't realized he'd needed. Maybe the need came after it had already been on offer. It's easy to not miss what you've never had and in all his human and demon years, he can't say he's ever had anything exactly like this, but now that he's experienced it, he can't imagine not wanting it. ]
no subject
He lets out a long breath and he lifts his free hand back to touch the other man, his fingers playing along Crowley's hairline, just behind his ear. John leans his head a bit, tries to talk back over his shoulder. ]
Thanks.
[ Maybe he's crazy for coming back. Maybe he's setting himself up for disaster, just like Dean had suggested, but... at this point, he can't imagine himself staying away. It's the perfect combination, isn't it? Neediness doubled. ]